Why I quit the StartUp world (for now)

Few days ago, while watching The Martian something special happened to me: I got my first epileptic seizure. I don’t remember that much of that evening, but I realized how much I grew up by moving away from Italy, and deciding to stop working for Startups.

Almost 2 years ago I decided to escape my country to find my path abroad. I accepted a job offer to be the CTO of a Danish startup, lead by Italians.

I moved to København. I don’t have any regrets, and I still suggest my friends to move abroad as soon as they can, to make more experiences.

More than one year after, the same company gave me two options: quit or move to Netherlands to work for the new partners, but with no benefits, no shares, no quotes nor money for my hard work, even if I asked a few months before, to really be part of what we were doing .

I decided to quit and move on to the next adventure. Something different. By joining a bigger company, I discovered several things including:

• Without a degree, but a lot of skills, I can achieve a better salary than the “startup” one.
• Happy and productive working environment with good_ _bosses really exists.
• I can get benefits, even if working hard for few monts.

I was not thinking about it until few days I go. Until the seizure.

I was watching that movie, and I fainted. My boyfriend told me that every muscle of my body was really stiff and my back arched, then I fainted and screamed while shaking. The only thing that I remember of that evening is me on the floor surrounded by people. Then two ambulances arrived to the movie theatre. I was not the only one feeling like that.

We are weak because we are humans.

I made wrong decisions that night. My body was weak because of several things combined. I made the wrong choices. That made my body weak. My brain decided to reboot, because my body was weak. Because I made wrong decisions.

This event is helping me realising how much weak I am as human. I made the wrong decisions as human.

One single hasty decision may lead us to something that was not expected. I decided to quit the startup world for now, and I am happy with that. My single hasty decision was to work hard without thinking about my own future and reward.

By reading my past journal, I discovered that I was excited by the possibility of changing the world with the share economy, that I forgot how important my salary was, or the experience of the people in the team.

I have learned only a few things from this experience. By moving abroad I discovered how not to judge, how to live with people from different countries, and that “Classist discriminations” jokes are not appreciated in Scandinavia. Nothing related to my expectations. I was not growing up.

It was not worth it. I had the most stressed period of my life. I have learned nothing but how to follow the wrong lead that forced me to cheap solutions over clients satisfactions. If I will ever take the decision to work for a Startup, I will think twice… and think about my own future.

These months working in that bigger company, gave me the big chance to think differently. I am not thinking big, I am not thinking outside the box. I am happy. Quitting a Startup that was stressing me, taking every single breath out of me, was just the best decision I took.

Life tip: if you are considering to join a Startup, think twice about the team, the idea and your own future inside the company. Will it be a worthy experience in one year?

Now I am happy, relaxed and with new selfish goals. After months I can say that I am working with amazing people, in an amazing place, and I think that this time I will learn something in a serious way. Still abroad.

That epileptic seizure helped me to realise how weak I am. I am human and I can learn from new mistakes. One thing is sure: I will never drink alcohol before watching a 3D movie with sensitive scenes. Note: I am not a person with epilepsy :-)